Fix Me

My rant of the day is around this song called Fix You, by Coldplay.
I have a love-hate relationship with this song, albeit not as bad as Electric Feel by MGMT, which just completely torqued me off after I had a good listen to the lyrics - I mean come on, shock me like an electric eel. Not to mention the music video has the feel of a creepy, egregious, knock off done by a member of the Peter Jackson Restraining Order Club.

But don’t let me get my undies in a wad over this. Because sadly, I still find myself swaying to this song, electric eel and all, when it finds its way to my radio dial.
But, I get this is just some cheesy pop song, meant for people to dance to at the clubs. It’s catchy. Nothing more, nothing less.

It doesn’t toy with your emotions, leaving you having deep philosophical conversations with yourself late into the night.

Here is where Fix You, by Coldplay comes in. It is a gorgeous song. It’s a song many have embraced for advertisements, for choreography, or for just when in need of an inspirational moment. It’s a song with which my soul connects. It hits me at the gut level every time I hear it, especially as the song builds to its climax with the a simple quickening of an electric guitar melody, followed by the layering of drums, burning their pattern into my ears and my heart. And then comes the final layer. The lyrics:
Tears stream down your face, when you lose something you cannot replace. Tears stream down your face, and I. Tears stream down your face. I promise you, I will learn from my mistakes. Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you.

So, even if you are the Grench, your heart is most likely swelling by this point. What adds to the agony, is that it was supposedly written by Chris Martin for his wife Gwenyth Paltrow, after her father died. She comes home drenched in tears. Her husband asks what he can do for her. And she replies something to the affect of “Just hold me, because you’re the only thing that can fix me right now.” The single thought of this, is incredibly romantic.

But what if you have someone in your life, who believes this to be true to their core? What if it’s not a one time tragic event? What if it’s years upon years of tears and pain and grief? What if the person’s hands are bloody and their soul is tired from trying to fix you?

When does it become one’s responsibility to take a step of faith to change negative patterns and take steps to fix oneself? To possibly take some insight from The Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference

I’m not saying we don’t need a safe place to fall from time to time. I’m not saying change can’t be elicited from the inspiring words of a loved one. I’m not saying I don’t love this song. I do believe, everyone needs encouragement, hugs, intimacy, inspiration, LOVE. People need other people who will spur the on when times get rough.

But when does this encouragement become enabling? When does it teach the other that she cannot do for herself - that she needs another to be whole or fixed? What happens when she begins to believe she holds no value apart from another human- The person who’s been trying for so long to bear the responsibility of fixing her?

What if, instead, she, like Dorothy, in The Wizard of Oz, finally realizes those walking beside her on her path to find home, had no special powers to fix her? They were incredible, reliable, loyal, and inspiring companions. They were valued friends to share in a journey, help keep one another from danger, care for one another. But those companions could never guide her home. Fortunately she discovers in the end, she has had in her possession the whole time, the thing she most needed at the core of her being: the ruby-red slippers. The one thing that would guide her home. That would fix her.